Sunday, November 17, 2013

brene brown - critics

Why Your Critics Aren't The Ones Who Count

the creatives - the ones that no one sat with in high school and then everyone wants to be when they grow up
design is a function of connection
there is nothing more vulnerable than creativity
what is art without love
Theodore Roosevelt quote that changed her life:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
her shift:
1. not about winning/losing - it's about showing up and being seen
2. this is who i want to be.. i want to create.. make things that didn't exist before i touched them.. if you are going to show up/be seen, there is only one guarantee.. you will get your hiney kicked..
3. if you're not in the arena also getting your hiney kicked.. i'm not interested in your feedback

when you armor up.. you set yourself apart from vulnerability.. and w/o vulnerability - you can't create.
so when you walk out... know there will always be critics.. and to know exactly what they'll say to you:
1. shame
2. scarcity - does this really matter
3. comparison
4. left open for you.. you gotta know who's there
when we start caring what people think.. we lose our capacity for connection
when we become defined by what people think - we lose our capacity to be vulnerable
so - reserve 4 seats in the arena..  i see you, i hear you, but i'm going to show up and do this anyway
two things you need if you're going in the arena - clarity of values and 1 person to be frank with you but there for you
reserve a seat for that person
and reserve a seat for yourself - you are your biggest critic
we orphan the parts of us that don't fit with the ideal.. that just leaves the critic

nothing is as scary/dangerous/terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and thinking.. what if i would have shown up..