why i don't (didn't?) capitalize

last post without capitalization. hoping.

i don't remember getting a b in school. until college. i figured the game out - and played it well. but did i get it?

i could do it. but i didn't get it.

i was among the best at grammar, but couldn't express my thoughts.
i was among the best at doing the math, but i couldn't relate it.

why?
because doing it was graded/rewarded, getting it wasn't.

relating the math came as i started teaching. but it required a huge reversal. zooming out, backing up, asking a lot, a lot of whys and how so's....rather than forging through the math.


expressing my thoughts - only came when i started bagging the grammar. ya - i know. pathetic. but what i found was that when i focused on the grammar - my thoughts weren't meaningful. they were disengaged, trite, disconnected. in my head - any capitals were screaming at me - you can't think, i'm here to distract you.


well. that was good. that was fine. stuck to my guns - for at least a year. but now - as i'm ranting about the frustration of understanding people who speak in verbage inundated with acronyms, i find myself pointing the finger at me.

so i still have to write without punctuation. but because i now get my responsibility to thinking out loud new kid clear - i will take the time to go back and revise the grammar. 

shhhhhh.