Tuesday, July 28, 2009

listen with grace


from a recent conversation with some kool bean student leaders, my thoughts are lingering on how to get people to think more of others than themselves - or as our conversation started - how to be a good leader.

i'm thinking the most important skill needed to be a good leader, is listening.

i read once about blogging, that a blog worth reading is one by a person who reads more than they write. that's listening.

per john gardner in jacqueline novogratz's blue sweater, -we need to find innovations that release the energies of people...focus on supporting others to do what they do well...the goal should be making a difference rather than pleasing others or achieving your own agenda.

this takes grace. decency. we have to care about others more than ourselves. we have to believe that all of us really do want to do good - even though that manifests itself in various ways. if we don't keep this focus, if we don't listen with this mindset - most things people do/say will tick us off. we'll stop listening and start ranting or ignoring or blaming.

when you treat people with grace, when you really listen to them - what they are saying - what they aren't saying - how they are acting - - you unleash powers not only in them but in yourself. relationships give meaning and listening is the beginning of relationship.

once relationship exists, then you can learn/work/play together. helping others to help themselves has to be the greatest gift a leader can give.

this quote from jacqueline's book - says it well,

go to the people:
live with them, learn from them
love them
start with what they know
build with what they have.

but of the best leaders,
when the job is done,
the task accomplished,
the people will say:
we have done it ourselves.
-lao tzu

what power? what empowerment? what better way to lead?
it's not about all the things you can do for people. it's not even about all the things you can do with people. it's about how you do those things. how you treat others. how much you care about others - enough to help them be the best they can be.

so let's listen more.
let's listen with more grace.

let's just see....